*WARNING: This blog is intended for a mature audience. Its contents may include adult situations, violence and sensitive issues that some people might find disturbing. Please read at your own discretion.

26 August 2013

A Pair of Brown Eyes: Chapter 09


*WARNING: This chapter contains explicit sexual content, violence and some very disturbing issues.
*EXTRA WARNING: This chapter is a bit picture-heavy, sorry about that.


After two days of intermittent showers, the sun was shining again, so Claire started feeling a little better. Her pain had subsided, and that's why she had willingly accepted Ethel's invitation to spend the afternoon with her.


The maid had shown her the way to Ethel's backyard, and after a few steps, Claire found herself in a garden beautifully arranged, surrounded by a set of bushes of red and pink flowers. She would have reveled in the lavishness of it all for a while longer, but she was immediately greeted by the children's sharp cries of joy at seeing her. Caroline was in a make-believe pirate ship in the form of a tree house, while Becky contented herself with running to and fro in the vicinities of the trunk as fast as her chubby legs would allow her.


"Come, auntie Claire!" Caroline told her joyfully, while taking her right hand in hers. Becky was very busy playing hide and seek with her leg. "We will show you our hedge maze." Both were grabing Claire so forcefully, she was on the verge of losing balance, but then their mother appeared from the other end of the garden, obviously alerted by the noise the children were making.

"Girls, girls! Take it easy!" Ethel lectured them, but grinning at Claire at the same time. "Why don't you two lead the way, and I show Claire the labyrinth?" Caroline nodded her head and took her sister to follow her down the path.

"Now Claire," Ethel continued. "I hope my daughters weren't tiring you out! I'm so sorry for the way I received you," she said as she rearranged her clothes, a little disheveled and muddy. "I sometimes lose track of the time when I'm tending to the garden."

"It's beautiful." Claire sighed.


"Do you fancy a little stroll, then?"

"Of course." Being out in the open was agreeing with Claire, and she was actually eager for some exercise. "Is this your work?" She asked Ethel, pointing at the intricate web of bushes ahead of them.

"Well, yes..." Ethel's answer came accompanied by a movement of her hand to encourage Claire to start walking along with her. "It's not really a maze worth of that name, but the girls love playing around here, and I like having them near me while I take care of my vegetables."


"And that scarecrow you can see over there at our right..." Ethel went on, as they took a corner.

"It's very funny-looking!" Claire interrupted her, a grin on her face.

"It is, isn't it? Well, Caroline helped me dress it. She's been very attached to it ever since, and even gets angry whenever a bird pecks at its clothes."

Both women started laughing at the child's occurrence, but then Claire felt a little weak and her expression changed.


Claire could perceive the concern in her friend's features as she immediately changed the subject. "Are you alright? I'm so sorry, I had forgotten..., I shouldn't have made you walk so much."

"Forgotten what?" Claire was at a loss. "And don't worry, I'm... used to these pains. I'm feeling better already."

"I went to Andrew's the other day, and he told me you weren't feeling too well lately." 

There was a short pause, and Claire was getting accostumed to those; they usually meant that Ethel had something on her mind. "Claire, my brother has a great concern for you, you know?"

"Has he?" She didn't want to believe Ethel's insinuation, and yet it made her feel happy, she didn't know exactly why. She lowered her gaze, trying to come with a better answer than that, but finding none.


Luckily, Ethel's husband's arrival from work just at that moment gave Claire the diversion she needed. They all went to meet him.


Claire thought better to remain a little behind, not wanting to intrude, and by doing that she was rewarded with a scene she had never seen before, let alone experienced it herself. Ethel's husband was playfully holding Caroline on his back when Ethel took his head in her hands to give him a kiss; it was nothing but a quick touch of their lips, but meaningful enough for Claire to perceive the profound affection they evidently felt for each other.


Claire couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy at that seemingly happy family, even though she was sure that Ethel deserved all of that better than herself.


"I see you're in very good company today, honey." He told his wife, while smiling warmly at Claire.

"Mr. Roberts." She returned his greeting.

"Oh, please, do you think you could call me simply Jack?" Calling a man by his first name? Should she agree to that? She was apprehensive, but then she remembered that no one would scold her if she did so. Not now, anyway.

"All right... ummm, Jack."

"Good! I hope you will be staying for dinner." He continued. "I won't take no for an answer. It's always a pleasure having a good meal surrounded by two beautiful ladies. And now if you'll excuse me..." He bowed before heading for the house.


Claire was having a difficult time digesting everything that had just occurred, and it took her some time to muster the courage to ask Ethel something. "Ethel," she eventually said. "Are you and your husband... in love?"

Ethel looked as if that was the last question she would have expected, but answered her anyway. "Well, yes, of course. I wouldn't have married him otherwise. Why do you ask?" She raised an eyebrow. "Don't we seem so?"

Claire could hear Ethel giggling, and tried not to talk any more nonsense. "Oh, no, on the contrary. He was so... nice and gentle to you a moment ago..." Her voice trailed off.


"That's one of the things I love the most about him. He's so kind, and always looks at me in that manner of his that makes me feel very special. He's been truly generous and understanding since the beginning. Even the very first time we..." At this point, Ethel slightly blushed, "...we were together... intimately. I was so nervous, so inexperienced, but he made me feel that I had nothing to worry about except just letting our love for each other flow freely. But I'm sure you know what I mean..."


No, Claire most certainly didn't know what Ethel meant!




Claire was so immersed in the letter she was writing to Ethel she didn't hear the sound of the door opening.


Nor did she hear him approaching her bed. It was not until he called her name that she noticed his presence at all. She recognized him immediately, and slowly got up from bed, trying to hide how he had startled her. But she just thought that, as her father's guest, he wouldn't dare harm her in any way.

"What... what do you want, Mr. Richardson? Is there anything I can do to help you?" She tried to play host to the best of her abilities by smiling politely and offering him her assistance. But the seconds it took him to answer were making her weary; that and the piercing glance he shot her as he approached the place where she was standing.

"There is one thing you can do for me, and please, drop the formalities. I shan't be Mr. Richardson for you, just call me Geoffrey." There was a value to his voice Claire didn't recognise. She had never heard a man speak in such an undertone before, as if he was out of breath, only he seemed fine.


The next thing she knew, he was covering her mouth with his right hand, and motioning for her to keep silent with his left. It was then that it occurred to her that no honourable man, be him her father's guest or not, would ever dare enter a lady's room so late at night. Now she was terrified and her body started shaking violently.

"Ssssh, you wouldn't want to wake the whole house, now, would you?" He whispered, and his breathing grew heavier, while her own was becoming faster. She tried to back away, but her legs wouldn't respond. Her grip on the pen instinctively tightened.


When he tried getting hold of her face, her body finally came to life, revolting against the attack she was now suffering, but that only made things worse, as Claire soon realised when she nearly fell onto the bed behind her. He wouldn't budge, however.

"You are to be mine, so there's no use for you to resist me." What did he mean by that? "You're so beautiful, so young..., such an innocent, delicate flower..." Coming from his lips, those compliments sounded more like insults. She didn't like this...


"You can also enjoy yourself, you know? As long as you do what I tell you..." Enjoy herself? Did he mean...? She silently gasped in utter fear, as no words would come out of her mouth. It didn't matter any way or the other; her room was in the farthest part of the west ward, no one would hear her even if she were to scream. A random thought crossed her mind when she noticed that the pen was no longer in her hand, but dropped on the floor.

What she felt like minutes must have been a mere ten or twenty seconds, because when she came to her senses again, she found him in the very same place in which she had seen him last, the only difference was that now both his pants and her lower underwear were gone. Claire was horrified by what she saw next; coming out from between his inner thighs was a long, protruding shaft of flesh which was throbbing as if it had a will of its own.


She had no time to react, however, as he mercilessly turned her around and entered her. Claire thought she could die from the excruciating, unbearable pain she was suffering at that moment. Time stood still.

He was relentless in his pushing and pulling, and her pain only intensified with each thrust, and she desperately tried to get free of his touch, but to no avail: what could a fifteen-year-old girl like herself do against a man in his mid-forties? He was much stronger.


He obviously guessed what she was trying to do, as he grabbed her left arm preventing thus any further movement. All the while, he was groaning and whispering things to her in between breaths. "You're... so tight, so... tiny. You feel... so goo... so good. I've been... wanting... you... for so... looong..." Those words were only adding to her predicament, and crying was the only thing left for her to do; strangely enough, she found some comfort in her tears as they reminded her she was alive.


At some moment, she found herself looking at that old painting. She imagined herself being inside the picture, among all of her childhood companions: the unicorn, the Fairy Queen, the little gnomes and fawns... She would just wait there, in the enchanted forest, for a handsome and strong prince to rescue her. And then everything would be fine again. But then...

...then he began pushing harder and faster. Harder and faster. So hard and so fast that Claire thought she would break any time. Until he was done. He thrusted deeper one more time, emitting a low, guttural growl that scared her even more, and a hot liquid escaped from him as he finally released her. Both that liquid and her own blood were now dripping down her legs.


Without speaking a single word, he put his pants back on and prepared to leave. Claire just collapsed on the bed, sobbing uncontrollably. She felt dizzy. Her arms ached, and her legs ached. Her head ached, and her mind was numb. Her body was no longer her own. And she felt dirty, humiliated, worthless.

She hardly knew what had just occurred, but had that bad feeling in the pit of her stomach that her life had changed forever.

Chapter 10Chapter 08


  1. wow, just wow!!! Poor Claire now we know why she feels like she does. I suspected something of this nature was the reason, but it was still hard to see. :( This is the man her father wished her to marry? She was 15 wow. Not at at any age this would have been better for her, but he was 40ish she was just a child.

    Seeing Ethel and her husband be so loving towards each other, it is a foreign thing to her just as Andrew's kindness is. Her father has treated her badly, this Mr. Richardson really did terrible things to her and I fear this first time probably wasn't the last. :(

    When Ethel was concerned for her in the gardens with the walking, why did she think it would be too much? Does she know what Claire suffered through or does she believe it to be some other medical issue?

    1. Yes, I guessed this chapter would explain many things about Claire, even when I imagined you were already suspecting something along those lines. And it was really, really, REALLY hard for me to write this :-(. I was even having second (and third, and fourth...) thoughts while putting everything together, but deep within me I knew this had to be told. I can understand, though, how it was hard for you to see, sorry about that :-(.

      His identity will be revealed... eventually, you'll have to stay with me for a while longer if you want to know ;-). Yeah, a child, no doubt, it was also difficult telling everything through her POV, since she didn't completely understand what being raped means.

      Yes, not that she wants to, but she is a bit envious of Ethel. It's very sad she hasn't been shown any kindness in her life. And your fears may prove correct :-(, only time will tell.

      Ethel just knows what Andrew told her in Chapter 08 about Claire not feeling too well, which means she (or Andrew, for that matter) doesn't know anything at all. Sorry if that was confusing.

      Thank you so much for reading!

    2. I understand how these kinds of chapters are hard to write, but must be done for the sake of the story. No need to apologize. You did an excellent job in how this was written and I am hoping one of the reasons she's on the run is because she killed that bastard. Or at the very least chopped off an offending body part.

    3. Yes, I know what you mean, and you're right, sometimes they MUST be done. Certainly, that bastard deserves no better than what you so "kindly" suggest for him (I picture those two scenarios in my head all the time, LOL), but we will see, we will see...

      Oh, and thanks for your words, I think I'm blushing right now.

  2. Holy crap!
    Yeah, I wondered if something like that was the reason. A 'friend' of her father's? I wonder if her father would be angry if he knew or if he sanctioned it since he's not thought of kindly. Oh crap. Is she pregnant now? The possibilities are flying through my head.

    If there was ever a creature on God's green earth that needs to know what true love is, it's her.

    1. Yeah, I assumed many of you guys were already suspecting something like this, and yet... I somehow realised I had to be as explicit about this as I could handle.

      You can say he is a friend of her father's, yes, at least he is a guest at his home, and probably of his own age too. Very interesting guesses you have there about her father, but there's not much I can say... yet, I hope you can forgive me ;-). What I can safely tell you, though, is that she's not pregnant, not now, anyway.

      Definitely! Let's hope she can find true love, because she needs and deserves it more than anyone.

      Thanks so much for reading!

  3. Wow. So my suspicions were right. She was raped. Poor Claire. But she seemed to have lost a baby when she was 17, if I remember correctly. That probably means he has been sexually abusing her up until she married him and got pregnant. And if this is the same man that she married and she became a widow, either he died of natural causes, she did something to him and ran off or she fled town and used being a widow as her alibi.

    I know how hard it is to write chapters like these but you did a great job. Nobody likes to hurt their characters but it's also what helps them grow, and it definitely makes the story more interesting.

    1. Yes, you were right! Poor Claire, indeed! :-( You remember correctly, she had a miscarriage at 17, that gives us a gap of two years of which we don't know nothing yet, then again, yes, things in those two years may have occurred as you implied ;-). As for your guesses concerning her running off... I hope you'll find your answer to that soon enough ;-).

      Awww, thanks. Yes, it's very hard, but this is what this story is about, so there was no avoiding it.

      Thank you so much for reading!

  4. Poor Claire. I was not shocked when Claire had no idea what Ethel was talking about when Ethel said her husband was so nice and looked at her like she was special. I caught another little moment when Claire seemed to be afraid of calling Ethel's husband by his first name, but I didn't know it was because the first man who'd ever said she could do that was cold and calculating. I thought it was because her abusive husband refused to let her call him by his first name. I do not understand men like Mr. Richardson, there are plenty of women his age in the world, why torture a young girl like that... but I do know some men get a sense of power by doing things like that. So sad. I am glad that Claire is getting to witness real love through Ethel and her husband's marriage. Such a great chapter. =)

    1. I always feel so bad for Claire, because it's really sad she has never experienced such normal things as being loved or having someone being nice to her.

      Oh, you caught that, I did that on purpose so I'm glad you did, you're clever ;-). Yes, men like him are difficult to understand (I know *I* am having a hard time trying to, and it's me that "created" him LOL).

      And it's very good for Claire to start witnessing all the beautiful things life has to offer, like real love.

      Thank you so much for your feedback and for reading, I always love reading your comments :-).

  5. I figured this was the reason, it sucks that she was supposed to marry this man!? I think while this chapter is pretty dark, it is also quite hopeful when you compare to where Claire was then to where she is now and I love that :D keep up the great work!

    1. I knew you were suspecting it, that's why I thought it was the right time to get more... explicit. Was she actually supposed to marry him? I'm not going to answer that, of course, I like having you all guessing about that --I'm mean, I know ;-).

      Claire is at a much better place now than she was before (both literally and metaforically) and that's what I was going for in this chapter, you're right :-).

      Thanks so much for reading, and for your kind words :-D.

  6. Along with everyone else, I also suspected something like this in Claire's past. Still, so awful to see.
    Great chapter, very moving!

    1. I know what you mean, it's not the same thing to suspect something than to actually see it so... "graphically" portrayed. Awful, absolutely!

      Thank you for your kind words, they mean very much to me :-).

  7. Bless her. How horrible. And it's just as horrible that witnessing a tender scene between Ethel and her husband was something so utterly shocking to her. That a husband and wife could coexist and actually love each other shouldn't be a foreign concept. Then again, she's shown us time and again that she views men very differently, and it's obviously because of her past that she views them that way.

    1. Horrible, definitely! That's exactly what she's known from men up until now, and that's why everything that somehow contradicts her notions is foreign to her, even something as normal (and desirable) as a husband showing love and respect for his wife. Very, very sad... :-(.

      Thank you for reading and commenting.

  8. I knew it. I did. Wicked wicked man. I bet the father wouldn't have cared. So the father married her off and she killed the guy?
    I hope she did!

    1. I see you want him killed, right? ;-) I don't blame you, though. But we shall see...

      Thanks for reading.

  9. I suspected she might have been raped or sexually abused when she was young. This update just made me sad. I have no words. I don't think you ever make peace with something so horrible, but I hope she finds enough happiness in future that it makes up for all the pain she went through.

    1. I know what you mean, no words are necessary, actually. I agree with you, it must be really difficult to overcome such a traumatic experience (if at all) :-(. Let's hope that our Claire finds enough happiness in her future to make up for her past sufferings...

      Thanks for reading.

  10. Oh wow, poor Claire. :( I suspected something of this nature was probably going to be revealed after her reaction to the tender moment between Ethel and her husband. Oh dear. I hope that awful man dies. >:{

    1. Yes, poor Claire :-(. This was very hard to write.

      Thanks for reading :-).

  11. How horrible for poor Claire. No wonder Claire is so hesitant and awkward around men. Just wow! Where do you get some of those poses? And how do you get the blurred boxes out of your game?

    1. Yes, I know, poor, poor Claire! :'-(

      Oh, the poses... You can take a look at my 'Resources' page. I store there links to the awesome sites I get my stuff from. As for 'decensoring' my game, there are several mods out there that allow you to do that. Twallan, for instance, has this one: http://nraas.wikispaces.com/Decensor. Not sure if you're at all acquainted with his mods, they're awesome, and make the game work like a charm :-D

      Thanks for reading.

  12. Hmmm, I hope this isn't her ex-husband later on. He is a nasty man.

    1. Ex-husband? But, isn't she a widow? ;-) Anyway, yes, he's that and many other things! >:-(

      Thank you for reading.

  13. Surely Ethyl must have caught on to the disbelief that a husband and wife could be in love?

    What a terrible thing to endure, poor Claire. "You are to be mine"...surely her dad wouldn't marry her to that cretin! Or surely he would, since we've already seen that she didn't have a real relationship with her father.

    1. Hmmm, we don't know much about Claire's father, so he might have married her off to that man...

      And as for Ethel's suspicions..., you'll see more of that in Chapter 16 ;-).

      Thanks for reading.

  14. I really love this story! I've read up till now, and I feel that what Claire went through was horrible! I feel like hurling after seeing that he was so... so... repulsive!

    1. It is horrible, yes, no wonder you want to hurl :-(...

      Thanks for reading and commenting :-D.

  15. How horrible for her to go through that. I'm guessing it wasn't a one time thing either. Ugh! What a disgusting man! I was almost crying when Claire was talking about getting lost in the painting. No wonder she is so confused by men who act nicely towards her. So unbelievably sad. :(

    1. I have very little to add to that :'-(. This chapter was very hard to write...

      Thanks for your thoughtful comment.

  16. Claire's abuse is not unexpected at all because you have so carefully build her character detail by detail, event after event, in each of her interactions with the male characters we have met so far. She is made helpless and offers no reaction to those who try to abuse her. She blames herself for all mistakes, even when they are not hers, like the tea episode with Andrew. The depth of her trauma as you depict in her reactions -- or lack off and total abandonment -- make me think we will see the continuation of this abuse. I fear that Geoffrey Richardson might be the husband Claire has fled from... What would be her father's reasons to allow such a relationship?

    This is so very terrible. It is terrible enough in Claire's story -- but even more because this happens on a daily basis all around the world. It is happening right now -- to women, men, children, as I am here writing these words. Right now, someone is being abused, and my heart sinks at this thought.

    Back to the story, I think you mastered it when you opposed a lovely afternoon in family at the garden -- and these are among the most beautiful pictures you have offered us thus far, with the characters enhanced by that lush, flowery background -- to Claire's horrifying memories of her first abuse. How she tries to seek refuge into that painting is very poetical, deep and heartwrenching at the same time.

    Thank you, Marta.

    1. Yes, I tried to hint at it here and there so that this chapter would be of no surprise to anyone. It's a terrible reality, and far too frequent, unfortunately... :'-(.

      Thank you so much for your thoughtful feedback, it means a lot to me :-).