*WARNING: This blog is intended for a mature audience. Its contents may include adult situations, violence and sensitive issues that some people might find disturbing. Please read at your own discretion.

25 September 2013

A Pair of Brown Eyes: Chapter 11


*WARNING: This chapter contains violence, strong language and some disturbing issues.



Claire had distinctly heard Dr. Stuart calling after her, but she never turned. She could hardly bear what she had just witnessed, let alone confront him about it. She felt her heart fluttering wildly, and her stomach was in knots, but she didn't quite know why. She wanted to run, to scream, to be left alone... No, that was not true. She just wanted to have his arms around her the way he had hold that Ms. Norton. But that couldn't be. She simply couldn't be wishing for a man -any man- to touch her so intimately, or at all. 


On the other hand, he had already touched her: they had taken a couple of strolls together, and both times she had accepted his arm. And far from being disgusted by the nearness of his body, she had actually liked it. She had found nothing threatening about him.

But she was sure -or thought she was- that jealousy was not what she felt. She knew all too well how jealous people reacted, and didn't recognise any of those indications in herself. She revolted at the very idea of behaving in such a way. And yet... And yet, she couldn't deny that the thought of him embracing another woman made her sad, and angry, and vulnerable.


She arrived home exhausted, and went straight to bed without even bothering to undress. Rest wouldn't come to her easily, however, and soon she found herself trapped in one of those nightmares which haunted her nights from time to time. Jealousy, jealousy...



"So, how much fun did you have at the party? You enjoyed having all those men drool over you neckline, didn't you?" Her neckline? But if it had been him to choose the gown for her... "Who is it? Answer me, damn you!" His accusatory finger pointed to her direction.

"Who is what? Please, I don't know... " she swallowed with some difficulty, "what you're referring to."

"Don't even dare play those games on me. You very well know what I'm talking about. Who is it? Who is the father? Is that bloody bastard who did nothing but stare at you the whole evening? Or is it the one who asked you to dance twice in a row? That insufferable sneer of his never left his mouth!"

The father? Was he implying that the child growing in her belly was not his? The mere thought of doing that with any other man made her sick: as if suffering him in her room nearly every night wasn't enough for her.


There was a time when she had foolishly believed that once she stopped resisting him, he would go gentler on her, but that hadn't been the case. He was always unrelenting and harsh, and even appeared to resent her lack of will; at other times, it just seemed that finding fault with her excited him.

"You... are... the... father." She spoke under her breath, not yet aware of the tears that threatened to wet her face in the most humiliating of manners.

"Don't lie to me. Do you expect me to believe that after having seen how you conducted yourself the whole evening, as if you were some cheap flirt? What kind of a fool you have taken me for?"


His voice was controlled, but that could only signify his fury would find other means to be released, as Claire soon confirmed by his first slap across her face. The sudden stinging feeling on her cheek took her off guard, causing her to lose balance and hit the bookshelf standing behind her with a loud thump, but she didn't move. Over the years Claire had refined a technique enabling her to detach from herself whenever one of these unexpected outbursts occurred. All she had to do was let her mind wander through some accidental thoughts, and suddenly her fear and hurt would disappear. 


That's why she didn't feel the twinge in her stomach when he started punching it. That's why she didn't double over in pain and fall to the floor unable to hold herself up. It was happening to someone else, so why would she feel anything at all?


That woman lying on the floor might be hurting to the brink of unconsciousness, but not herself, not Claire. She was somewhere else, just trying to remember what cook had said was in the menu for next day's supper. That was the only important thing.

"Who is the father? Don't expect that I will raise another man's child, you bitch." He was as persistent in his accusations as he was in how viciously he kept kicking her belly...



Andrew stopped dead in his tracks. He was sure she had heard him but had refused to talk to him. In any case, what was he to tell her? That he loved her? That surely wasn't the right thing to say. They hardly knew each other, and she was obviously still grieving over her husband's death. He could tell by the longing with which he had caught her staring at the horizon at times; or by how sternly she had ruled out the possibility of ever remarrying. And then, how was she to believe him when she had just seen him about to kiss another woman? Olivia... He had some explaining to do to her as well. What a mess he had made!


As if on cue, just right then Olivia stepped out of the clinic and into the hallway area...

"It seems I am too late." He heard her say behind him, with a small voice so unlike her that made Andrew turn to take a look at her. He was surprised to be met by a sad, yet warm, smile slowly spreading across her lips.

He sighed heavily before attempting an answer. "Olivia, I... I should apologise for my earlier behaviour, it was unpardonable, and can't be repeated. In fact, it shall not be repeated. I..."


"No, please, don't say anything more. I understand what you're trying to tell me." Olivia cut his explanation short by slowly waving her hand. "You never looked at me the way you looked at that girl a few minutes ago. I guess it simply wasn't meant to be." There was not a trace in her voice of that spoilt girl he once knew. The iciness of a while before had gone and all that was left was the dignity of a woman who knows she's lost her battle. That much credit Andrew could give her.

Not saying another word, she started for the door, ready to leave.

"Olivia?" Andrew felt the need to say one last thing. "It's true you're changed. And you're much improved, if I may add."

The shallow, teasing smirk was back on her face when she answered him. "Keep that in mind in case some day you grow tired of that assistant of yours. Because when that day comes, I'll still be wanting you." And with that she was gone.



Claire's mind reeled, and she had a sour taste in her mouth. Those nightmares again. Nightmares... Of course she knew they were not, and that made them all the more frightening. She shuddered as she brought a hand to her temple. And it was then that she noticed the white sleeve which covered her arm. She was still wearing her uniform jacket! Oh, and her mare... she had forgotten the poor thing at the doctor's!



Sleep wasn't on the cards for Andrew that night. He kept pacing his bedroom, trying in vain to banish from his mind the lingering images of Claire's face in embarrassment. He knew he had hurt her, and that made him feel miserable and mortified.



Claire dreaded going to work the following day, and the early-August heat wave wasn't helping matters. If she could at least wear one of those beautiful, short-sleeved gowns that Ethel usually wore. She wasn't ready to see Dr. Stuart again. There were far too many things she didn't want to hear from him. She didn't even know what this Ms Norton was to him. An old girlfriend, perhaps? A new one? It was none of her business either way, but still she didn't want to know. She paused at the door, hesitating.



Much to Andrew's annoyance, the day threatened to be unbearably hot, and this meant that the clinic would soon be crowded by people showing signs of many afflictions derived from the sudden heat. Today of all days! He went to unlock the entrance door, as he did every morning before going to his office to read the newspaper.


Just as he pushed the knob open, he was startled to find Claire there, since he usually did this before she came in. Was she earlier, or he late? He had never been happier to see her, however. "Mrs. Parker!" No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't keep his eyes off her. "Mrs. Parker... Hmm, about yesterday..."

She averted his gaze and blushed. "You don't owe me any explanation. I'm sorry I didn't knock before..."

"No, please, don't apologise. It wasn't your fault" Andrew knew he had to choose his following words carefully. "It's not what you think. Just let me explain..." But then the door creaked open and, as Andrew had anticipated, the first unscheduled patient was suddenly there, ready for a visit. He shut his eyes in frustration.


A few days had gone by, and they had yet to straighten things out. Everything had been so hectic at the clinic, they had been granted not one single moment to relax for a bit and talk. But one evening, as Claire was preparing to leave, Andrew decided he had had enough, he couldn't hold the awkwardness between them any longer. He knew a conversation was in order. "Mrs. Parker, please. May I talk to you for a moment?"


He could see her trying to ignore his question and go, just like the other evening. But he wouldn't let her this time. He needed to explain a few things to her. Without giving it too much thought, he grabbed her by the arm and turned her around. "Please, don't go just yet." He would explain everything... The expression of sheer shock written all over her face by his sudden movement distracted him. He would expl... And those lips were so enticing. He would... Not quite knowing what came out of him, he framed her head in his hands and brought her close to him. He had to taste those lips.


Chapter 12Chapter 10


Author's note: I wanted to go for something slightly different in this chapter, and I sort of "blended"  ("overlapped" is more like it) both Andrew's and Claire's POV, as I thought it went well with their evolving feelings. I'm not completely sure of how everything turned out (it was quite difficult to sort out, actually) but I may try doing it at some other point.

On a different note, as I was halfway shooting the flashback/dream scene I realised Claire's dress resembles a wedding gown and, as I don't want to confuse you guys any further, I'm telling you it is NOT. I don't think it matters much, anyway, but...


  1. I thought it was a wedding gown, but that only added to the trauma, so don't worry :)

    Wow. Poor Claire :( She's really had an awful past by the sounds of it, and I don't think she's ever told anyone about any of the things that have happened to her. Hopefully Andrew can turn this around and she can open up. A problem shared is a problem halved, as they say.

    I like the POV changes, it bought it all together nicely. Andrew was VERY brave at the end there! Can't wait to see what reaction he gets! :)

    1. It really doesn't matter any way or the other, but you're right, had that occurred on her wedding night, it would have been even more traumatic for her :-(.

      Yes, her past is awful. And, obviously her old maid knows "things", but she's never shared her predicament with any one. Let's hope Andrew can help her open up to him, but he has still to figure out what's the matter with her anyway, so it might take a while, I'm afraid.

      Thanks, my mind (luckily) was functioning properly, so I could get everything done without developing any serious personality disorder LOL.

      Andrew was very brave... WAY too brave, perhaps? ;-) We shall see, but he doesn't quite know yet what he has just done ;-).

  2. I'm all glad that Claire might be realizing that she's feeling something more than friendship for the handsome doctor, but how is she feeling about that? Does that scare her given her past? Or is she excited by it at all?

    Uh oh. While some women might melt at such a bold move I have a feeling that his suddenly grabbing her arm and then kissing her might trigger something else. I really really hope not, and yet the earlier memories Claire had this chapter really demonstrate why such a sudden move might make her do nothing more than shut down to escape from the situation mentally if nothing else.

    And oh, so Olivia will be waiting for him? Dang her. She needs to go away. lol

    1. Hmmm... so many questions... my lips are sealed for now ;-).

      Yes, she's got herself caught in quite a situation there, doesn't she? And she hasn't yet shared with us some startling facts regarding her history with kissing in general (I'm being purposely vague here, but you'll see what I'm talking about in next update).

      Ahh, Olivia! Hehe. You still love her THAT much, don't you? :-P She's not one to take rejection well, for sure.

  3. oh no oh no oh no :( Damn it Andrew she's not going to know what to do now with that kiss. Her feelings towards men and their unwanted advances and now this. I just fear this is going to make things even more awkward for her and on top of that I think she might fear him a little afterwards.

    That asshole really tried to get out of his responsibility by trying to say she slept around. OMG that man!!!! I swear his man bits need to be cut off in little bits then force fed to him!!!! He's raped her every night and he thinks she'd even want some other man near her in that way. And that attack, :( Again she's just a child, not that any woman no matter the age should go through that, but she's just a child.

    And aww, she was jealous, even though she doesn't know it. She has budding feelings for the good doctor and I can understand why she would be confused and hesitant over them. But back to the beginning of my comment, that kiss. I just worry that will ruin things or at least muddy them up even more. :(

    Sorry I jumped around a bit, hope you can follow it all. And the POV switching worked great.

    1. Yes, I bet Claire is having quite a hard time right now, that kiss might be too much for her to bear at the moment. I'd better not confess I'm kind of stressing out over how I'm going to deal with the aftermath of that kiss---> Okay, so I just did it, never mind that LOL.

      Well, not exactly that he's trying to get out of his responsibility, it's just that he is the delusional, over-jealous type who can't stand other men even taking a glimpse of what he considers his property --I bet you know what I mean ;-). And I swear you're absolutely right about what this poor excuse of a man deserves, but you'll let me join the fun, right? Claire was just a child at the time (she was 17) and that only adds to his depravity >:-(.

      Claire was jealous, and that's obvious to everyone except herself. Writing her parts is becoming increasingly difficult, because she's always so confused about "normal" things, and I HAVE to capture that, and, you know, it's... well, her mind is a confusing place, all right!

      No, you didn't, no need to apologise :-D. Anyway, why would *I* of all people be bothered by a bit of rambling?;-) LOL And thanks, I guess the switching worked well in the end, then.

  4. Well wow, Claire was in a terrible relationship if it wasn't obvious enough! The man was beyond paranoid!

    He's right, Olivia has changed. I wonder though if the damage is already done though by her. Looks like she's going to step aside...

    And then he kisses her...without permission too! Then you end it!? I'm sitting here wondering how she's going to react?! I mean she does like him it seems, but then again she's probably had enough of a guy pushing himself onto her D:

    1. Poor, poor Claire! Paranoid? Yeah, only that's an understatement, for sure!

      Olivia seems to be getting out of the way, but, who knows? Whether she's changed or not, you'll have to take my (Andrew's) word for it that she has.

      Sorry I ended there, I just had to! I had to, I swear! Okay... perhaps I did it just because I'm that mean ;-P. Claire does seem to like him, but given her past history, there's no telling how she'll react.

  5. Felt like it flowed just fine to me. :)

    *takes deep breath to go all hopeless-romantic-girlie on everything*
    YAAAAYYY!!!!! *claps hands rapidly* He kissed her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Okay, that said, poor guy doesn't know that that might not have been the best thing to do, but he wasn't thinking anything but physical stuff.

    *faints when she thinks more about it*

    I'm trying to comment on the other stuff, but I'm having difficulties. Yes, we know her life was crap before, but that was then and it helps us understand her reservations.

    He KISSED her!

    Alright, I'm useless right now.

    1. O.o Hmmm, wow! I take it you've... hmm... liked it? ROFL

      Thanks, it means a lot that you think it flowed well :-).

      Are you alright? May I hand you a glass of water or something? LOL Or I can just join you for a while. YAY FOR ANDREW! :-D

      Poor guy, he's in love, don't expect him to act too rationally. If he just knew what he's dealing with... :-(.

      I knew so much clasping and breathing couldn't be good. Here, here, take a fan LMAO.

      It sure does help us understand her reservations, and don't worry on not commenting about the other things :-).

      I beg your pardon? What did you say he did? I'm kind of confused right now :-P.

      Thanks for the good laugh, I needed that.

  6. Well look how quickly I judged Olivia! *LOL* She knows her place. ^_^ .... Andrew, dumb move, although innocent, very dumb. :(

    1. LOL, well... she sort of knows her place, for now... Hehe, poor Andrew, he doesn't know what he might have triggered...

  7. Oh my god! We knew she was abused, but that was horrendous. It's a wonder that she's recovered even to the point that she has. I'm afraid Dr. Stuart might be in for a bit of a battle if he intends to win her over, particularly after being caught in a nearly heated moment with his ex. He's really muddied things up for himself, and doesn't understand a thing about Claire yet, none of which is going to help her one bit. Hopefully Olivia will keep her distance.

    Oh dear Dr. Stuart, I'm not sure that was the right way to begin straightening things out with Claire, lol. If only he knew, he'd kick himself for that kiss.

    Looking forward to the next update!

    1. Her life has been really hard:-(. She seems "recovered" up to a point, but it looks like she could break at any moment, doesn't it? Andrew doesn't quite know what he's got himself (and her) into. so things might get tougher for them... And hopefully Olivia will get out of the picture for good.

      Poor Andrew, he's not thinking very clearly... (Wow, I'm having a difficult time here trying to answer the comments for this chapter without giving too much away LOL).

      Thanks, I hope it won't disappoint :-).

  8. I like the blending you did with their POVs.
    O_O He kicked her while she was pregnant? Sheesh. LOL, I guess I'm not actually surprised since, well, he's always been such a jerk, but wow. Also, he's pretty stupid to think she would have sex with anyone else because she probably thinks sex is terrible since he's the only one she's experienced it with. If sex was bad and mean like that, no one would seek it out. Haha.
    I'm happy she is realizing how Andrew is different in that he was always nice, and she didn't feel threatened by him. I hope that Andrew kissing her that abruptly won't throw her off too much, and that she still sees him as a nice person. T_T LOL.

    1. Aww, thanks!

      Yeah, and you can guess she wouldn't be pregnant for very long AFTER that... Besides many other names I'd give him, he's also very stupid, as you said, to think she would even consider cheating on him. The poor girl is disgusted by sex, but who wouldn't in her situation? :-( Let's hope that Claire's trust in Andrew won't be affected (diminished) after that impromptu kiss.

  9. Did you ever say how Claire's husband died. If you did, I'll have to go back and reread it. But if you didn't, and that's still going to be covered in later chapter, please tell me it's Claire who killed him, please tell me she tortured him for hours, cut off his balls, and made him eat them before she ripped into him with a saw or some other scary piece of electrical equipment. I think he deserved a slow, plainful death considering what a nasty piece of work he was.

    Okay, rant over.

    Man, I didn't expect Olivia to give up so easily. Either I misjudged her character or she's really conniving and is hatching a good plan to win back the good doctor.

    They kissed! They kissed! They kissed! *does happy dance*

    1. No, I didn't, and I never said he was her husband, either ;-). LOL you guys have been giving me such great ideas on how he should die... If it depended on me, I'd try each and everyone of those wonderful ideas to finish him off >:-(.

      Ah, Olivia, who knows what's going to happen when she's around?

      Yay, they did! Well, at least HE did kiss her! ;-)

  10. Wow, the husband (or not husband?) was in incredibly abusive jerk, and paranoid too. Poor Claire! I'm glad she got away from him, physically at least. And I hope with time and the help of Andrew she can get away from him mentally as well, and take hr life back.

    1. Yes, he was all that >:-(, poor Claire :-(! Now she may be physically free from him, but as you said, the emotional hold he still has on her is acute, good point! Hopefully, Andrew will prove good for her in the long run.

  11. Man, that guy was a cruel S.O.B. Back to the present where there is goodness and light. ;) Go, Andrew! He's all in; love how he was moved to take action, even though it wasn't planned. I hope it doesn't backfire considering Claire's past. I really, really hope not. We need more Andrew & Claire romance! (Yeah, I'm a hopeless romantic in case you hadn't guessed.)

    1. He surely was >:-(. I love goodness and light <3. Yes, love sometimes calls for some unplanned action ;-). Yay for more romance! Oh, I HAD guessed, hey, I read "The Suitor" too, hehe ;-).

      I loved your comment.

  12. AAgh woman you are giving me a heart attack!!. Andrew! Andrew! Andrew!

  13. I had a feeling that's what happened to her when she was dreaming/having flashbacks earlier but I had hoped I was wrong. Men like that should be taken off this planet. I could go on a rant, but instead I'll center on the fact that Andrew kissed her!!!!! Yay! But now I'm nervous about her response. . .O_O

    1. Then, I'm afraid you were NOT wrong! :'-( Men like must belong to a sub-species or something! >:-( And, Yay! Andrew kissed her!

      Thanks for reading and commenting!

  14. Claire was not only being physically abused -- she was also suffering emotional violence in her household! There is nothing left for her but to nullify herself before so many levels of violence. Very sad.

    "Over the years Claire had refined a technique..." -- this sentence gets me wondering at what age did she first suffer abuse, and how long has this been going on? She had the painting to hide in, and now it is the menu.

    The more we learn about her past, the more heart wrenching it is!

    Was Andrew trying to be just nice towards Olivia, and make up for his first misjudgement, or is he falling for her again, even if just a tiny little bit? Or is he considering his odds with Claire and placing Olivia on stand by?

    Because to my understanding, Olivia´s visit did arouse him, to such an extent that he jumped on poor Claire. Wrong move on his part, and she certainly does not deserve another clumsy Casanova craving for parts of her body. "He had to taste those lips." is very cheap thought, as if Claire was a dish on his table.

    1. Both things usually go hand in hand :-(.

      Well, as it is stated in Chapter 09, it all started at age fifteen. Too sad.

      Old habits die hard, I guess ;-). He has resented Olivia for too many years to be completely free of her. But confronting her one last time has helped him understand a couple of things. I don't think he's falling for her again.

      Andrew is not a womanizer, but you're right in saying his reaction has not been very thougthful. Chapter 12 makes everything clearer in that respect.

      Thanks for reading, and for taking the time to post such long comments :-).

  15. I don't know, I don't know...

    I couldn't comment in the last few chapters because I was still taken aback by the rape scene. I knew it was coming (I'd figured that out already) but it's still a shock a shock to see. It may sound weird but I think you did a wonderful job portraying such a horrific scene.

    I'm going to bypass the kicking, since we all know that's fricking awful.

    Now, to this kissing business. She's not going to like this, I don't think. The grabbing and the kissing with no warning? Yeah, she's not going to like this one bit.

    1. It's no wonder that scene shocked you :'-(, because it's meant to, you know. And it doesn't sound weird, I think I got your meaning and I thank you :-).

      Oh, the kissing... Given that this is not something Claire is accostumed to, she may react in many unexpected ways...

      Thank you for reading.